Every day, we meet with people, maintain an existing relationship and most importantly make countless decisions about how to react in a social setting, that says a lot about the impression we make.
A good impression is in towards people is important to maintain a healthy relationship, as the word social even relates to more than one party.
In many situations, the impression we portray in other peoples mind determines the success or failure of relationship subsequently even at first instance.
Understanding that impression are formed on first interaction, many approaches with a wrong mindset and resolve to false self-presentation, research has shown that we are more likely to present ourselves in a positive light whether deliberate or subconsciously most time.
In the quest to be well received, it is important and wise that we utilise interactions in presenting oneself, conveying qualities such as trustworthiness, competence and others as may be needed and so using a false self presentation skill in gaining reception could be a pointer that we do not have enough resources (mental, physical, social, material etc) as we portray to be able to manage the content of what we profess, even though there are persons who possess enough resources, but are bad presenters by manners.
This week I shall focus on false self-presentation, exposing two behaviours explain these.
- Humility Strategy
The saying “false humility is the pride of not being proud, real humility is without the consciousness that pride exist” is apt in explaining these act.
An individual, in the quest of gaining good impression at first instance, will so much abase him/her self to a questionable description of self.
One way to identify these tactics is to check if what you profess to anyone at first meeting is contrary to your values or standards for existing relationship.
False humility is a mental illness that imprisons the real self until deliberate act for freedom is taken. The praise of our character should not come from us but others.
- False humility is imprinted on most of us from birth by people close to us; our responsibility is to unlearn.
- They attract people with the same quality.
- Hypocrisy Strategy
Closely related to the humility tactics, hypocrites are those who claim a certain image for themselves but fail to live up to the standards of that image. This strategy is mostly used in promoting false moral standards, in the real sense, the opposite is the case.
Hypocrites lie to be liked and like the humility tactics, it requires deliberate critical examination if your once professed moral standard is in tune with your behaviour.
- With people of limited ability, modesty is merely honesty. But with those who possess great talent, it is hypocrisy – William Hazlitt
- Hypocrites usually lack willpower.
Next week, my focus would be on the other type of presenters and how to make a good impression.