Comedian and talk show host Teju Oyelakin, known as Teju Babyface, has explained why men should not confess to their wives when they cheat.
Speaking in a YouTube video on Monday, he said telling a wife about infidelity can only lead to trouble.
“If you cheat on your wife or your husband, but especially your wife especially men if you cheat on your wife, don’t tell her. Don’t confess. Do not ever do it,” he said.
“It is one of the most catastrophic and damaging things you can ever do in your life. People will even quote the Bible to support the idea of confession.
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“They will say that if we confess and repent, then our sins are forgiven. Excuse me, that is to God and from God, not to man. It is confession to God, not to man. Do not do it.”
According to him, many people who confess after cheating are not being truthful but are instead shifting the burden of guilt.
“You are not being honest; you are being manipulative. What you’re really doing is shedding the weight of your guilt, not helping your spouse. You’re looking for someone else to carry the burden of your wrongdoing,” he explained.
“I can see clearly now that I confessed because I wanted out of the relationship. If I cheated and then confessed, and she left by herself, I could justify it to myself. That was not honesty that was cowardice.”
He said confessions rarely fix relationships and instead cause long-term damage.
“There is no benefit to your spouse when you confess. All the benefits are yours. What you give them is pain, heartache, and misery,” he stated.
“I have a friend who cheated on his wife 15 years ago, confessed in their first year of marriage, and to this day she still holds it over his head. He’s still suffering from that confession.”
Teju added that true repentance should be shown through changed behaviour, not through confessing.
“If you feel bad about cheating, stop cheating. If you still feel guilty, confess to God or a counsellor, not your wife. Don’t ever put that weight on her. That’s not honesty; that’s cruelty,” he said.
He also pointed out the difference between a one-time mistake and a habit.
“The fact that you cheated once doesn’t make you a cheater,” he noted. “A cheater is someone who does it repeatedly.
“But if you stumbled once, learn from it and change your actions, don’t destroy your home in the name of confession.”